Hi ,

I've been thinking about how so many parents (including me) use words such as 'battle', 'fight' or 'struggle' when referring to engaging with Local Authority (LA) SEND Teams. It can feel like an 'us versus them' situation which is crazy really as it would be easier for everyone if we all worked together. So how can we as parents better work together with the LA? How can we start to develop a trusting mature adult relationship with the LA? 

I think a key starting place is honesty and integrity.

Below is a heartfelt letter from me on behalf of many parents in England (and the general sentiment may be relevant to other countries too), to local authority SEND Teams that I wish they would consider. I do realise that some local authorities are much better than others but this is certainly relevant to the areas where I work. I also realise that there are many kind caring staff that work for these teams and this letter is about 'the system' not those individuals. I have come across some wonderful EHCP coordinators and I am grateful for the almost impossible job they try to do. 

If you are currently in the EHCP process at the moment and are struggling, then I'm sending you so many good wishes and strength.

Hanna

 _____________________________

Dear Local Authority SEND Management,

We have been in a relationship for many many years now and it's just not working for us; we suspect it's not working for you either? As much as we'd love to end the relationship and we imagine you would too, we can't get 'divorced'. We have to stay together for the sake of the children; they can't manage without the right help in school and we need you to facilitate that for them.

We know it's not easy for you. You don't have enough staff, time, money or resources. We know that your staff care and that they are good people but that they have an almost impossible job to do. We do need you and we do appreciate you. We know that we can seem difficult at times but it's because we love our children and we want what's best for them. We can get angry and upset which is hard for us and it must make it hard for you too. We think there is something you can do to make things a bit easier for all of us. We are asking you to please please be honest and to act with integrity. 

Please be honest with us about your staffing issues and how they impact. You could say for example, "I know legally we have 20 weeks from the initial assessment request to issue the final EHCP but despite all of our best efforts we are so short-staffed that it's typically more like 24 weeks at the moment. I am so sorry, I understand that this is not acceptable and senior management are desperately trying to recruit". Rather than the current common approach of not saying anything, stressed parents emailing and phoning you after 20 weeks, not getting responses or being told it will just be one more week, only for a week to pass and again no response. When this happens we start to get suspicious. Some of us wonder whether this is an intentional strategy to delay the EHCP and to save money in the process. This is when the mistrust starts to build. 

Please act with integrity. As parents we know that Section F should be specified and quantified so surely you must know this too! Why send us a draft EHCP with vague, general provision? Again, please be honest with us. Tell us if you are struggling to write quantified and specified provision because the professionals involved haven't got back to you with the necessary information, or whatever the reason is. If you don't then this again leads to mistrust. We start to wonder whether this is an intentional strategy so that the EHCP costs less to deliver and isn't actually enforceable.

We implore you to act with integrity. When we request an EHC needs assessment and our child has met the legal tests set out in the Children and Families Act (2014) Section 36(8) then please assess them. Turning down the assessment request makes us suspicious. Agreeing to the assessment and then producing an EHCP in the legal timeframe will mean that you have to start paying after 20 weeks, whereas turning us down, putting us through mediation, appeal, agreeing to assess but then not granting an EHCP leading to further appeal and potentially the stressful tribunal process, means that you push everything back by at least a year and save a lot of money. 

We're going to say it again. Please be honest with us. We don't take the decision to request a special school lightly! We would love for our children to be able to thrive in a mainstream setting. For most of us, coming to terms with the fact that our child needs a special school is such an emotional process and we need you to help make it easier not harder. Making it harder just feels so cruel. Be honest about the reason that you have turned us down for a special school place and tell us your plan to resolve the situation. If you know that you don't have enough special school places but that mainstream settings don't have the resources or adequate specialist training to support our children's needs then please make a plan and share it with us. It feels to us like there is no plan and that the strategy is to delay us, to mislead us and to bamboozle us with bureaucracy. If there just isn't a suitable setting for some of our children, then be honest about that and we can try to problem-solve together. Please don't try to force some of our most complex children into inappropriate settings that are detrimental to their mental health. 

It is not easy being a parent of a child with SEND. We desperately need to repair our broken relationship with you for the sake of our children, for the sake of our own mental health and well-being and surely for the sake of your job satisfaction and consciences too.

So local authority SEND management, we want to end the fight. We want to work together. We can actually be really understanding and reasonable if you just act with honesty and integrity. 

Kind Regards,

Many many parents