Hi ,

I’ve been thinking this week about intuition. Some people might call it their inner guidance system, higher self or simply refer to it as their gut. I work with many parents who are really in tune with their inner guidance system but then when a growing number of professionals (perhaps teachers, the LA, psychologists, OT) and maybe even other parents, family members and the media start to say something to the contrary, then they start to question themselves. And I totally get it…I’ve been in this situation many times. The hardest was probably when I knew that school was making my son ill and the best thing was for him to have a period of time at home to recover. I was fortunate that my husband was supportive but I questioned myself so many times because of the reactions and judgements of others. 

Listening to your gut can be hard. I think many of us have been brought up to ignore our gut. I also think that neurodivergent people are often extremely sensitive and intuitive and are tuned in as children but then due to the world not being particularly neurodivergent affirming, we learn to switch off from what our bodies are telling us. And for some of us, it all just feels too overwhelming and confusing and so we don't know what our bodies are telling us. In my experience for example, my gut as a child told me that school was not a safe place, yet nobody else was saying that, everyone else seemed fine and in the end I stopped listening to my body. I was also so sensitive to the emotions and energy in a room full of people that I became overwhelmed. Tuning back in to my inner guidance system has been a long journey and quite possibly linked to what many people would call a midlife crisis! It has involved therapy, self compassion and learning to love and trust myself. I feel so much better for all the work I have done but most of all I appreciate the knock on ripple effect this personal development has had on my children. 

My struggle now is not so much listening to my inner guidance system, but in supporting my children to listen to theirs. This feels so complex. My son clearly tells me he hates school, it makes him feel tired and ill, it’s too noisy, he can’t concentrate, the clothes are itchy etc etc and that he doesn’t want to go. However, at the moment we are sending him to school 2 days a week. I do worry that I am effectively saying “thanks for sharing what feels ok and not ok in your body but please hold it together and ignore it just for 2 days”, but I don’t think it’s that simple. My inner guidance system is telling me that we haven’t quite reached the end of the road yet, that I have good reasons for still sending him to school 2 days, to hang on in there and to try to ride the waves a little longer. And so whatever anyone else says I’m going to keep listening to me. If the school or LA started to say he needs to be in full time, if an Educational Psychologist said he would manage better full time, if another professional said the opposite and said we were making him ill and he should be at home…I’d listen…but I’d filter it all through my inner guidance system and then decide what feels right to me. 

If there are any other impulsive people out there, I’ll share and extra little bit with you. I am impulsive by nature and I’ve learned to yes listen to my gut but then also hold off a little before reacting! If I want to send an email to school about something that has happened that day, I try to force myself to wait a day and then check back in to see what my gut is telling me, as it's hard to listen to my gut when my head is trying to take over! If I’m in a meeting and something really doesn’t feel right then I’ll speak up. However, if I’m not sure and I just have a little niggle, then I’ve learned that I can say something like “I’m really not sure about that. Something doesn’t sit right. Can we put that on hold and I’ll get back to you after the meeting”. Yes it’s nice for the LA or school etc to get things done and dusted and clearly they are very busy but if you don’t feel totally comfortable with something then say so and ask for more time. 

I’m not really too sure where I'm going with this email, but my intuition was to send an email today about intuition so here you go! I guess in summary, I’d just love to encourage you to trust yourselves as parents especially when you are in a system that seems to make you doubt yourself and perhaps feel guilt or shame about your decisions. And even worse, sometimes imply that you don't have a decision to make and that you just need to fall in line. My hope for the future is that parents will trust themselves more, adults will listen to children when they are saying things aren’t right so that they develop into intuitive confident adults and professionals trust that parents know best; they might have some helpful info to bring to the table but only a parent truly knows what is best for their child. 

Hanna

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