Let's talk about masking

It seems that society's understanding of adult mental health has improved; it's generally understood that a person who is in fact depressed can come across as the most happy and fun person in the room. We don't seem as good however, at recognising that so many of our kids are not fine in school!

What is masking?

Sometimes, children try so hard to fit in with the people around them that they have to suppress their emotions and true self. This is called 'masking'. It can be hard to spot masking in schools and often teachers don’t see anything that would lead them to think that the child is struggling. When the child gets home, they drop the mask and parents and carers see not only the behaviour typical of that child but the overspill of emotions that have been kept inside all day.

Have the conversation

Masking is draining for a child and causes heartache for parents who know their child is not fine in school, but is told that they are. When a child looks fine in school, but parents know that they are masking, then parents and teachers need serious conversations about what can be done to make the school day easier for the child even if they 'look fine'.

Support their needs

A child might need some low stimuli retreat time during the school day (not instead of break time!) This is somewhere quiet with low noise and lightning with perhaps a therapy ball to bounce on and a fidget toy. They might need more movement breaks, sensory adaptations or to have their anxieties listened to and understood.

Some children are so good at masking that it makes it really hard for teachers to pick up on. Therefore, listening to parents who see the impact of masking once the child gets home is absolutely crucial.

In his video I explain Spoon Theory, which can be really helpful for parents and teachers to use to look at which aspects of the day are too much for the child.